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The Suck Kissing
This can be a very seductive type of kiss. Instead
of French Kissing with your mouth open, while your partner's lips are
parted suck on their top our bottom lip with your own, just for a second
or two. Then go back to another type of kiss or try the other lip.
THE SPYING KISS
To determine whether you mate has drunk an overabundance of wine.
THE HAND KISS
Historically, the Hand Kiss, with its required bow of subordination,
showed deference to a lady. If a male was too superior to lower himself,
he simply raised the woman's hand to his mouth. Since the Hand Kiss
had now fallen out of fashion, it makes an unexpected romantic impression.
To perform it correctly, lower your eyes and cup shoulders over the
lady's fingers, prolonging the moment when your lips rest on her hand.
You will know the kiss has made its mark if the receiver avoids washing
for several days to make sure the warm sensation stays sealed where
your lips have placed it.
THE BUMPER KISS
Effective when following your lover in a separate car. Wait till he
stops his vehicle at a traffic light, then gently ease your car up to
his and nudge his bumper. The jolt will jump-start his heart and suggest
more intimate nuzzlings to come. (Warning: Do not use the Bumper Kiss
on the vehicle of an unknown driver.)
THE SURPRISE KISS
This type of kiss is done when your partner is lying down on a sofa
or the ground, either asleep or just lying with their eyes closed. Quietly
approach your partner and place a small, very gentle kiss on their lips.
Intensify the kiss until your partner opens their eyes or awakens.
This
kiss takes place inadvertently during a parlor game called "Suck
and Blow." To begin, gather men and women in a circle and try passing
a playing card from mouth to mouth by first inhaling to receive the
card and then exhaling to pass the card to the person. If the pass is
successful, you will be left feeling pleasantly light headed. I the
pass is unsuccessful, the card will slip, leaving your lips pressed
to those of your unsuspecting neighbor.
THE VACUUM KISS
Recommended in the 1936 manual The Art of Kissing, the Vacuum Kiss is
performed by "sucking inward as though you were trying to draw
out the innards of an orange." The powerful suction on the lips
requires that the kiss must be brief. Be advised that when the lips
have wearied, they should not be torn suddenly apart, or a loud smack
will startle others nearby. Instead, gently loosen a corner of the mouth
to release a faint hissing. If the kiss has been performed correctly,
the manual notes, "a delicious sense of torpor will creep over
your entire body, giving a lassitude that is almost beatific."
THE BUTTERFLY FLUTTER
Place your eye within a breath of your partner's cheek. Open and close
your eyelids against her skin. If this is done correctly, the flutter
sensation on her cheek should match the one in her heart.
THE EARLOBE LAP
You will do well to experiment with little sips of the lobe, but great
control is recommended to avoid loud slurping--the erogenous ear is
also an especially sensitized noise detectors. (Take care not to swallow
any earrings.)
THE TALKING KISS
Sweet nothings whispered into the mouth are sweeter than those whispered
into the ear, because the mouth is the preferred organ for tasting.
If caught in the act, simply say, as Chico Marx, "I wasn't kissing
her. I was whispering into her mouth."
THE BLOWN KISS
In the book Is Sex Necessary? James Thurber and E.B. White contend that
many men "would be perfectly willing to express their eroticism
if it could be done at a reasonable distance--say fifty paces."
For such frigid types, kissing, of course, presents a problem. They
will find the Blown Kiss to be the most satisfactory.
THE MISTLETOE KISS
Useful for those to shy to make the leap toward a potential lover's
lips without a visible excuse.
THE FOREHEAD KISS
Zoologist Desmond Morris claims that the Forehead Kiss is seen as mock-parental
since a mother or father will often comfort a child with a kiss to the
crown of head.
THE FOOT KISS
People with ticklish feet will find the Foot Kiss quite funny, but just
relax and enjoy it. Afterward, and extra touch of romance can be added
by sending a little note signed "QBSP" (Quien besa su pie--"Who
kisses your feet"), which once was the fashionable line with which
to close correspondence in Spain.
THE NIP KISSING
This type of kiss has to be done carefully, but when done correctly can create a wonderful effect on your date. While suck kissing, gently bite their lip, but be VERY gentle so as not to hurt your date / partner. This kiss should only be done with someone that you've kissed a few times before, otherwise you may shock your partner.
THE MARATHON MAKE-OUT KISS
In the words of Elizabeth Barrett Browning, it is "as long and
silent as the ecstatic might."
THE ESKIMO KISS
Contrary to popular belief, the Eskimo Kiss is not done merely to keep
the lips from freezing together. In fact, some tribes in hot African
countries rub or press noses in greeting and use a word for "kiss"
that means "smell." In Malaysia, Charles Darwin reported the
following: "The woman squatted with their faces upturned; my attendants
stood leaning over them, laid the bridge of their noses at right angles
over theirs, and commenced rubbing. It lasted somewhat longer than a
hearty handshake with us. During this process they uttered a grunt of
satisfaction."
THE HICKEY KISS
It may take some practice to create a personalized hickey in the shape
of, say, your favorite sailing ship.
No need to get fancy. The main
objective is simply to avoid drawing blood while leaving your mark that
will prove to your sweetheart (and all her girlfriends) that last night's
interlude was not a dream.
THE ELECTRIC KISS
Choose a partner. Turn the lights low. Shuffle wildly across the carpet
until you've neared your partner in a sufficiently charged state. Lean
slowly toward him, so that your lips are the first body parts to touch.
Sparks will fly in the darkness. Avoid the natural inclination to pull
away. After becoming accustomed to the shock, you may be inclined to
increase the voltage with a battery-powered device or an electric socket.
Resist the Temptation.
THE FRENCH KISS
Some call this "The Soul Kiss," because the life and soul
are thought to pass through the mouth's breath in the exchange across
tongues. Surprisingly, the French call this "The English Kiss."
THE AUNT SALLY SPECIAL
A hearty smack to the cheek, done with puckered, slobbery, lipstick
lips. The female kisser should employ the Aunt Sally Special when a
sobering note is needed during an escalating affair.
If done right,
this smooch will cause your partner to stop and wipe the spit of his
cheek, which, in turn, will allow you to fix your hair and adjust your
skirt. After a calming rest period, relations may resume.
THE LAST KISS
In ancient Rome, custom had it that the Last Kiss would capture the
soul of a dying man and keep it alive in the lips of his lover.